


The Most Unbelievable Excuse

by anistarrose



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post-Weirdmageddon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-24 02:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anistarrose/pseuds/anistarrose
Summary: Whenever the Pines family travels to a state Stan got banned from, a case of mistaken identity tends to result.





	The Most Unbelievable Excuse

**Author's Note:**

> Just a brief little ficlet because I thought of a joke while walking to class today that I couldn't let go unwritten.

The Pines family is on vacation in another state one summer when a fairly old-looking police officer walks up to Dipper and his uncle, and barks out:

“I would know that face anywhere, _Stan Pines!_ You may have thought you were safe to show yourself here again, but _I_ haven’t forgotten what you got away with back in seventy-eight!”

“Nineteen-seventy-eight? Oh, dear. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it’s my identical twin that you’re looking for. _I’m_ on the straight and narrow, I can assure you —”

“A twin? Of all the bullshit excuses you could come up with, that’s got to be the _most_ unbelievable —”

“Don’t worry, this happens all the time. Stanley’s banned from a lot more states than this one, you see,” Ford tells the cop cheerfully as he rummages through a stuffed leather wallet. “Here you go — proof.”

Sure enough, he hands the cop a picture that shows two identical men in their mid-sixties smiling at the camera, a boat docked in the background.

“Oh, that — that’s — well, then. I judged you too hastily. I apologize, Mister, uh… Mr. Pines…”

“That’s _Dr._ Pines,” Ford corrects him. “Dr. Stanford Pines.”

“I apologize for the inconvenience, Dr. Pines. I don’t suppose you would know where your brother is at the moment?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Ford replies, crossing his arms. “It’s impossible to keep track of what he’s up to these days.”

The cop narrows his eyes, as if skeptical.

“What, do _you_ keep tabs on your siblings’ whereabouts at all times? We’re twins, but we aren’t _conjoined!_ ”

“Right, right. Sorry for the hassle, I’ll just… be on my way.”

“As you should be. I’m trying to enjoy a vacation with my nephew here.”

Once the officer is out of earshot, Dipper lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Grunkle Stan, does Ford _know_ that you do this every time someone tries to arrest you?”

“Well, by definition it kinda doesn’t work when he’s around, so…”

Dipper just shakes his head.

“Unless we wanted to do that thing where there’s two copies of the person, and they’re both trying to prove that they’re the real one… that could be fun!”

“Grunkle Stan, you’re making me afraid to ever go anywhere with you ever again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, comments are welcomed as always! I feel like this could only reach its true maximum comedy potential were it to be voice-acted, but I did my best lol


End file.
